Nicsights

  The Arrogance Inception   Arrogance is unattractive in most people. If we are trying to be our best selves, whether for spiritual reasons or otherwise, arrogance needs to be decreased or omitted.   Again, we do well to explore the underlying cause of negative feelings and behaviors to improve them. I propose that often arrogance has its roots in insecurity . Yep, an arrogant person may actually not feel all that great about themselves or certain aspects of their lives. When we are feeling insecure or lacking confidence, we tend to do one of two things. We retreat or we act in an unattractive way; such as through arrogance. We see and we act arrogant in conversation and behavior when we feel the need to prove something to someone or to a group of people. Those insecurities we have that hurt and nag at us become inflamed and we have to act . We let everyone in that moment know how smart, talented, strong, or accomplished we are through boastful words and ac...

  Jealousy It’s my understanding that it’s “bad” to be jealous. The scriptures teach us to avoid jealousy. When we see jealous behaviors or overhear a comment that’s been made out of jealousy, we often feel turned off. Like any other character traits which have been determined as less than desirable, we may explore why we feel as we do and how we might improve. I remember a time when a friend had been petty to another friend and the “petty” one laughed at himself for how he acted. He verbally questioned his behavior in our conversation and something occurred to me that I have had little lightbulb moments about in the past. Why do we feel jealousy? Well, there is a concern involved. That concern could sometimes be labeled as fear. What are we afraid of? Well, it’s kind of simple. Love. We are afraid of not being liked, loved, appreciated, or adored. Like it or not, we all need to be liked, loved, appreciated, and cared for.   We live in a society where often there isn’t...

Let's talk about Patience. It may be countless times in our lives that we recognize the need for more patience. Like many parents, I have needed more patience in dealing with common, but frustrating, behaviors from my children. As a clinician, I have told myself that I need to develop more patience to deal with challenging circumstances with clients. So often I have heard the words in my head, "next time you need to be more patient." Patience is a sought after virtue, quality, trait, and skill. With that in mind, we may cringe at the question, “Am I a very patient person?” Patience is required to being tolerant and for responding in a calm and tolerant way to unpleasant, annoying, and sometimes serious or sudden situations. This kind of patience is situational. It’s situational as it is in response to an event or a moment. There is also circumstantial patience of which I really want to expound on. This is the kind of response to a possibly long-term state or circums...

                                                                                                                            Sweetness in Selecting For a Friend:   Some thoughts on dating. Dating is not a playground. The availability and presence of people to interact with needs to be treated like being in a high-end store filled with quality "items" that you try on within the store. You can walk around with them and try to learn what you need to in order to see  if the "item" is right for you. You need to handle the items with care and gently . You know that you only want to buy one item. You may handle more than one at a time but have to do so very carefully. You can ...

  Dos for Dating Dudes        I n my own experience and in talking with other single people, I have found that there seems to be two  main factors that contribute to a romantic relationship not working. Those include when one or both  individuals are not ready to be in a relationship or when one or both people have significant struggles with behavior and/or mental illness that are not being worked on. This work is for of none of the above. This narrative is to assist those who are interested in the process of looking for lasting and meaningful companionship.   The goal is to assist men with “action tips“ that may help them in winning hearts-or, rather, winning a heart; the heart of someone to have something of value with.                 Terms to familiarize yourself with as we go on: Date : this is a thing that takes planning and various amounts of effort. There is...

                                                  What is a Partner?                                                                When a mental health clinician does a preliminary assessment with a new patient or client, it’s common to get an abuse and trauma history from the person. When documenting abuse from a significant other or a spouse-we often use the term “partner.” While documenting about this very thing today, I typed about the past abuse a patient disclosed from a “former partner.” The use of the word “partner” in clinical narratives stuck me as strange and ironic for the first time in a number of years of documenting. What is a partner? Any number of respon...

  The Dance of Emotional Intimacy and Vulnerability   By: Nicole Weeks Throughout my life I’ve loved to dance. So, essentially I love to dance because of how it feels. I want to dance because I enjoy making my body in harmony with music through intentional movement. This can be translated to the components of relationships. When we interact in meaningful ways with others we can find a harmony in being present with one person-or even a group. Human interaction is a common thread I encounter in my work in a helping profession. Two essential factors needed in pleasant human interaction are emotional intimacy and vulnerably. These two facets are essential in creating relationships that are healthy and meaningful. Have you ever looked at a couple happily talking or sharing an embrace or a kiss? Often the first impression we have when observing this exchange is that their love is perfect. When we observe any sort of human behavior we often make a quick and fairly concrete asse...